Music Information

Jealous Again - Jealousy Among Musicians


Jealousy - do you feel it? Do you sense it in others? Does it hinder your relationships with other musicians? Does it sap your confidence? Does it block your creativity? Here are some questions to help you get clearer about the jealousy in your life.

1. What is my jealousy trying to teach me? Generally when I have a strong emotion towards a specific person it's either because that person represents something about me that I can't tolerate yet or because that person embodies something that I wish I could do or have. I remember being in a high school arts program and being incredibly envious of a fellow singer. What I was so painfully aware of (though I couldn't have articulated it at that time) was that this person was able to fully express herself and her talents, and I couldn't. I was a better singer at home in my bedroom than I was in front of other people, and THAT'S what I couldn't stand about the situation. By doing what I couldn't do, she shone a spotlight on my biggest challenge. It made it virtually impossible to have a good relationship with her.

2. How can I identify with this person as a fellow musician, instead of comparing our work? What opportunities are there for collaboration, mutual support and the exchange of ideas? Can I open myself to receiving gifts from this person - feedback, support and love? What can I, in turn, give to this person? Even the most famous, the most successful musician is a human being just like you. Find the connection. What can I give to a musician who's newer than I am?

3. How can I develop confidence in my unique message and express this authentically? I will never sound like this other musician, or anyone else for that matter. Influences may be heard, comparisons will inevitably be made, but my words will never come out exactly like theirs, because my "story", my life, my experiences, my collection of qualities, strengths and challenges are completely unique to me. When I honour my uniqueness my confidence grows, and it becomes pointless to compare myself to others - there's no comparison. This quote by Martha Graham further explains what I mean.

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. - Martha Graham, quoted by Agnes DeMille, Martha: The Life and Work of Martha Graham

4. How can I turn my attention away from this other person and back to what I can do to further my own success and creative fulfillment? If I'm jealous of someone winning a songwriting contest, I can ask myself: how many songwriting contests have I entered? If I'm jealous of the size of their fan base, I can ask myself: how am I attracting new fans and how I am deepening my relationship with the ones I have now? If I'm jealous of the number of songs they've written, I can ask myself: what am I choosing to do with my time instead of writing songs?

5. Now that I've learned from it, how can I let go of my jealousy? Often in life we hang on to emotions long after they've served their usefulness. They become comfortable, familiar and safer than doing the work to get to the other side of them. And yet they can also weigh us down and block our creativity. Try the analogy FEEL. First, Feel your feeling - don't suppress it, actually let yourself feel it. Next, Express the feeling - write about it, sing about, talk about it with someone you trust, play it on an instrument or express it in art. Next, Explore the feeling - what is it trying to teach you, etc. as discussed above. And finally Let it Go. This can be as simple as saying a short prayer or affirmation ("I have let go of my jealousy", or "I have valuable and unique gifts to offer"), or writing the feeling on a piece of paper and tearing it up.

Jealousy has a lot to teach us. So when it shows up in your life, pay attention. If you notice jealousy in others, put yourself in their shoes and help them to identify with you. Reveal your humanity. Let them know that they've got something to offer you.

This article was originally published on the Muses Muse Songwriter's Resource website (December 2004) http://www.musesmuse.com.

(c) Copyright 2005, Genuine Coaching Services.

Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, helps artists enhance their creativity by addressing their unique self-care issues. To receive her free monthly newsletter, "Everyday Artist", subscribe at http://www.genuinecoaching.com/artist-newsletter.html


MORE RESOURCES:

Boston Globe

Amazon, Apple and the price of music
CNET News, CA - 3 hours ago
Ever since Amazon began selling digital music and offering lower prices than rival iTunes, the suspicion by many iTunes fans is that the music industry was ...
Apple Finally Dumps Most DRM for iTunes, Gamers Rejoice Seattle Post Intelligencer
Apple Still A Big Fan Of DRM Outside Of Music Techdirt
Apple Slashes Music Prices Motley Fool UK
Macworld - New York Times
all 1,193 news articles


Washington Post

Michael W. Smith to be Inducted into Gospel Music Hall of Fame
Christian Post - 1 hour ago
By Kevin P. Donovan Christian music legend Michael W. Smith and Country music star Dolly Parton will be among the latest additions to the Gospel Music Hall ...
Parton, Smith picked for Gospel Music Hall of Fame The Associated Press
Dolly Parton for Gospel Music Hall Of Fame NME.com
Dolly Parton Chosen For Gospel Music Hall Of Fame AHN
CMT.com - Chicago Tribune
all 217 news articles


The end of Zune? It’s not just the music anymore
ZDNet - 5 hours ago
The piece hints that Ballmer is more interested in the music player business from an angle that Microsoft knows well - software. As products like the iPod ...
Is the Zune About To Become Extinct? Rolling Stone
all 35 news articles


MTV.com

Jermaine Dupri Reportedly Leaves Island Records Urban Music Gig
MTV.com - 9 hours ago
According to Variety, the producer/rapper has reportedly ended his brief tenure as the president of the Island Records Urban Music department. ...
Reports: Jermaine Dupri Exits Island Billboard
Jermaine Dupri Removed From Post As President Of Island's Urban ... BallerStatus.com
Jermaine Dupri Out Radar Online
TheCelebrityCafe.com - Eurweb.com
all 46 news articles


CNET News

SanDisk Sansa slotRadio takes a page from Slacker's book
CNET News, CA - 4 hours ago
Still, the fact that the cards are static--meaning you can't update them as new music comes out--is a bit of a problem in my book. What do you think? ...
SanDisk offers bulk music in slotRadio format Prefixmag
SanDisk unveils memory card-based music player Reuters
SanDisk releases music player with slotRadio card TopNews
San Francisco Chronicle - RedOrbit
all 106 news articles


E! Online

People: New music and book from Sanjava Malakar
Dallas Morning News, TX - 15 hours ago
Both works share the title Dancing to the Music in My Head. Look for them Jan. 20. Lindsay Lohan bemoans the state of her career, among other things, ...
Sanjaya Is Back, American Idol Alumni Talks Album? Singersroom News
The argument for a fourth American Idol judge Metro Canda - Edmonton
The World Is Complete, Sanjaya's Long Awaited Album is Here: Listen New York Post
PerezHilton.com - E! Online
all 14 news articles


Music Review | New York Philharmonic Contemporary Storm Amid ...
New York Times, United States - 34 minutes ago
At one point the music assumes an unexpected lushness not unlike that found in Strauss. Moments later unorthodox playing techniques employed en masse render ...


CNET News

LG Rhythm puts music first
CNET News, CA - 5 hours ago
The Rhythm, if you'll recall, is a music-focused phone with 3D sound capabilities plus it boasts a graphic equalizer designed by none other than Mark ...


CNET News

Linksys offers full wireless alternative to Sonos
CNET News, CA - Jan 7, 2009
It was also easy to sync up multiple rooms with the same music stream, or opt for separate content to each room. Of course, this was in a hotel suite under ...
Cisco Gets Social With Entertainment OS PC World
CES: Cisco Calls A Blitz On The Digital Home CRN
Cisco Multiroom Home Audio Solution Enhances and Extends the ... CNNMoney.com
PC Magazine - CNET News
all 280 news articles


Music Review | American Classical Orchestra
New York Times, United States - 34 minutes ago
By ALLAN KOZINN Early-music fans in New York have long wished for a period-instrument orchestra that can survive more than a handful of seasons and develop ...

Music - Google News

home | site map
© 2006